Whatever you do, don’t be that boy around Felix Clay.
5 Things That Shouldn’t Make You Mad (But Will)
#4. Chewing
I understand that my hatred of the sound of chewing is irrational, as my emotional response is on par with watching the slaughter of innocents, as though I’m being forced to endure cosmic injustice. It’s just chewing. But fuck me … I feel like we should all know how to chew at this point. I think everything on Earth masters chewing the day it is born except humans. There are single-celled organisms out there that just sort of sit on protein blobs or whatever the fuck they do and absorb those nutrients, and there’s no slurpy sound, no chomping or weird fucking humming or yummy sounds that make me want to drown them in a toilet and leave them there with their pants around their ankles so that, when they’re discovered, people assume something even worse than what really happened went down, as a kind of final insult.
oh yes, THIS. I chewing sounds infuriate me to an absurd degree. I generally try to avoid eating with other people if i can avoid it, or at least make sure there’s enough background noise to drown it out. Sometimes advertisers make food commercials with loud chewing noises, or even just scenes in TV or movies, and i have to turn the volume down for them, or skip them, the noise just grates so bad.
Imported from Tumblr: http://ift.tt/1kNThFT
No comments:
Post a Comment